I hear you on so many levels. My dad and mom died in their late 70s and at 80 respectively. I was relieved for their sake that they both went quickly and did not have to live their lives out in a care center, a situation they both expressed revulsion for. But as their only child in the same state, country even, that would have been the eventual option.

I have three children whom I hope will love me into my old age. But I definitely do not expect nor do I want them burdened with providing for my care when I no longer can do it for myself. Care centers, though certainly imperfect, at least can provide the social stimulation that shut-ins otherwise encounter.

I joke to my kids that in my old age I just want to live the rest of my life in a simple hut by the beach next to a medicine man who could cure my ails.